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	<title>Comments for Ashley Turner</title>
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		<title>Comment on How to Deal with Toxic Relationships by sarah</title>
		<link>http://ashleyturner.org/detox/how-to-deal-with-toxic-relationships/#comment-10400</link>
		<dc:creator>sarah</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 May 2012 11:10:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://ashleyturner.org/?p=5891#comment-10400</guid>
		<description>This is such a helpful post! Thank you Ashley.

I have been able to easily set boundaries with toxic people at work or socially simply by not engaging with them and not being particularly welcoming towards them!! That may sound harsh but I have learnt that sometimes if you are friendly and open towards them they can latch on to you and you become their go-to for when they want to complain or vent.

What has been harder is dealing with family members, and (I don&#039;t know if this in true in the States but it is here in the UK) quite a few twenty-somethings (and even thirty-somethings) are returning to the family home due to job losses or relationship break-ups, which can mean trying to set boundaries with one or two toxic/negative parents. If you&#039;re under the same roof, it can be hard! And parents can have expectations that because you are their children, you should want to be with them no matter what.

What i&#039;ve found effective is doing whatever it takes to get out of the house, learn how to say &#039;no&#039; and stick to it without having to justify yourself, make sure you have a good network of positive friends and connections in other areas of your life. At a more immediate level, something that works for me is doing something whilst they deliver their negative monologue! So for example, i can manage listening to them whilst i&#039;m cooking dinner as most of my attention can go into cooking, or even &#039;talk&#039; (read: &#039;listen&#039;) to them whilst cleaning. 

Finally, something that can work is thinking of ways to make your time with them as fun as possible (this is more likely to work with friends or family). For example, if you know that if you go to a bar with a moany friend all they will do is moan, go to the cinema with them instead (no talking!). If you have to visit negative family for an afternoon, bring board games or recent photos to divert them from harping on. 

And of course there will be cases where you have to cut people loose. It can be hard if they are genuinely a &#039;good person&#039; (haven&#039;t done anything bad to hurt you, they&#039;re just negative moaners). But it&#039;s about respecting your own energy, emotional stability, and life-time! The time you give to putting up with them could be used in better ways.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This is such a helpful post! Thank you Ashley.</p>
<p>I have been able to easily set boundaries with toxic people at work or socially simply by not engaging with them and not being particularly welcoming towards them!! That may sound harsh but I have learnt that sometimes if you are friendly and open towards them they can latch on to you and you become their go-to for when they want to complain or vent.</p>
<p>What has been harder is dealing with family members, and (I don&#8217;t know if this in true in the States but it is here in the UK) quite a few twenty-somethings (and even thirty-somethings) are returning to the family home due to job losses or relationship break-ups, which can mean trying to set boundaries with one or two toxic/negative parents. If you&#8217;re under the same roof, it can be hard! And parents can have expectations that because you are their children, you should want to be with them no matter what.</p>
<p>What i&#8217;ve found effective is doing whatever it takes to get out of the house, learn how to say &#8216;no&#8217; and stick to it without having to justify yourself, make sure you have a good network of positive friends and connections in other areas of your life. At a more immediate level, something that works for me is doing something whilst they deliver their negative monologue! So for example, i can manage listening to them whilst i&#8217;m cooking dinner as most of my attention can go into cooking, or even &#8216;talk&#8217; (read: &#8216;listen&#8217;) to them whilst cleaning. </p>
<p>Finally, something that can work is thinking of ways to make your time with them as fun as possible (this is more likely to work with friends or family). For example, if you know that if you go to a bar with a moany friend all they will do is moan, go to the cinema with them instead (no talking!). If you have to visit negative family for an afternoon, bring board games or recent photos to divert them from harping on. </p>
<p>And of course there will be cases where you have to cut people loose. It can be hard if they are genuinely a &#8216;good person&#8217; (haven&#8217;t done anything bad to hurt you, they&#8217;re just negative moaners). But it&#8217;s about respecting your own energy, emotional stability, and life-time! The time you give to putting up with them could be used in better ways.</p>
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		<title>Comment on Gossip + Jealousy = Your Greatest Teachers by Elizabeth</title>
		<link>http://ashleyturner.org/stress-relief/gossip-jealousy-your-greatest-teachers/#comment-10280</link>
		<dc:creator>Elizabeth</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 10 May 2012 14:23:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://ashleyturner.org/?p=5831#comment-10280</guid>
		<description>I notice jealousy/envy in myself most often when friends are able to silence their inner critic enough to put something creative into the world.  I know that expressing creativity is something I&#039;d like to be able to do more of myself, so I try to focus on my feelings of happiness for the other person&#039;s success, rather than letting my perceived shortcomings make me envious (although sometimes that knee-jerk reaction is hard to stop).  As you&#039;ve taught us Ashley, comparison is the thief of joy.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I notice jealousy/envy in myself most often when friends are able to silence their inner critic enough to put something creative into the world.  I know that expressing creativity is something I&#8217;d like to be able to do more of myself, so I try to focus on my feelings of happiness for the other person&#8217;s success, rather than letting my perceived shortcomings make me envious (although sometimes that knee-jerk reaction is hard to stop).  As you&#8217;ve taught us Ashley, comparison is the thief of joy.</p>
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		<title>Comment on Gossip + Jealousy = Your Greatest Teachers by Payam</title>
		<link>http://ashleyturner.org/stress-relief/gossip-jealousy-your-greatest-teachers/#comment-10274</link>
		<dc:creator>Payam</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 10 May 2012 04:07:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://ashleyturner.org/?p=5831#comment-10274</guid>
		<description>Most corporate workplaces are middle schools, thrice removed.  To paraphrase comedian Martin Mull, the workplace is &quot;high school, but with money...&quot;

Petty envy and greed tends to run through daily mindsets, whether one is rank and file, or in management. This collective toxicity, harnessed over a period of time, sets standards for corporate (mis)governance that then results in the kind of damaged economy we are in.

I&#039;m in it, directly, battling said emotions daily.  Thanks Ashley for pointing out what you did.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Most corporate workplaces are middle schools, thrice removed.  To paraphrase comedian Martin Mull, the workplace is &#8220;high school, but with money&#8230;&#8221;</p>
<p>Petty envy and greed tends to run through daily mindsets, whether one is rank and file, or in management. This collective toxicity, harnessed over a period of time, sets standards for corporate (mis)governance that then results in the kind of damaged economy we are in.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m in it, directly, battling said emotions daily.  Thanks Ashley for pointing out what you did.</p>
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		<title>Comment on Celebrate Light: Happy Hanukkah, Winter Solstice, Christmas + Yule by tandblekninng med laser</title>
		<link>http://ashleyturner.org/stress-relief/how-to-be-happy-celebrate-light-hanukkah-winter-solstice-christmas-yule/#comment-10272</link>
		<dc:creator>tandblekninng med laser</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 10 May 2012 00:06:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://ashleyturner.org/?p=4753#comment-10272</guid>
		<description>&lt;strong&gt;tandblekninng med laser...&lt;/strong&gt;

[...]u we have awesome packages on promoting your website Nice post like always. ct[...]...</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>tandblekninng med laser&#8230;</strong></p>
<p>[...]u we have awesome packages on promoting your website Nice post like always. ct[...]&#8230;</p>
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		<title>Comment on Gossip + Jealousy = Your Greatest Teachers by Marissa</title>
		<link>http://ashleyturner.org/stress-relief/gossip-jealousy-your-greatest-teachers/#comment-10265</link>
		<dc:creator>Marissa</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 May 2012 16:04:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://ashleyturner.org/?p=5831#comment-10265</guid>
		<description>Ashley, I so appreciate your weekly wisdom . . .especially these opportunities to search for truth in life&#039;s many varied experiences! Thank you, and good wishes.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Ashley, I so appreciate your weekly wisdom . . .especially these opportunities to search for truth in life&#8217;s many varied experiences! Thank you, and good wishes.</p>
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		<title>Comment on Random Acts of Kindness by Ashley Turner</title>
		<link>http://ashleyturner.org/v-logs/random-acts-of-kindness/#comment-10258</link>
		<dc:creator>Ashley Turner</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 May 2012 04:36:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://ashleyturner.org/?p=5795#comment-10258</guid>
		<description>Thank you so much for sharing, Sarah! Yes...we give what we get. :)</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Thank you so much for sharing, Sarah! Yes&#8230;we give what we get. <img src='http://ashleyturner.org/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
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		<title>Comment on Random Acts of Kindness by Beth</title>
		<link>http://ashleyturner.org/v-logs/random-acts-of-kindness/#comment-10136</link>
		<dc:creator>Beth</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 03 May 2012 04:40:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://ashleyturner.org/?p=5795#comment-10136</guid>
		<description>Ashley,
I watch your videos every week and also participated in th Live Your Truth class but I have never said a peep.  This week you inspired me to do so.   Thank you so much for all that you give of yourself and all the wisdom you share.  I am so grateful and would love to find a way to take a workshop with you or to work with you in some 1:1 capacity. 
Thank You!
Here I go to practice some random (and not so random) acts of kindness. 
Beth from SF</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Ashley,<br />
I watch your videos every week and also participated in th Live Your Truth class but I have never said a peep.  This week you inspired me to do so.   Thank you so much for all that you give of yourself and all the wisdom you share.  I am so grateful and would love to find a way to take a workshop with you or to work with you in some 1:1 capacity.<br />
Thank You!<br />
Here I go to practice some random (and not so random) acts of kindness.<br />
Beth from SF</p>
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		<title>Comment on Random Acts of Kindness by Stephanie</title>
		<link>http://ashleyturner.org/v-logs/random-acts-of-kindness/#comment-10118</link>
		<dc:creator>Stephanie</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 02 May 2012 13:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://ashleyturner.org/?p=5795#comment-10118</guid>
		<description>Ashley, what a beautiful blog post! I&#039;m sorry that I wasn&#039;t able to attend the Moksha workshop but I am sending love from another Chicagoan who appreciates what you are doing. You are an inspiration and guide for strong, modern goddesses on the path! Love!!!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Ashley, what a beautiful blog post! I&#8217;m sorry that I wasn&#8217;t able to attend the Moksha workshop but I am sending love from another Chicagoan who appreciates what you are doing. You are an inspiration and guide for strong, modern goddesses on the path! Love!!!</p>
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		<title>Comment on Random Acts of Kindness by sarah</title>
		<link>http://ashleyturner.org/v-logs/random-acts-of-kindness/#comment-10117</link>
		<dc:creator>sarah</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 02 May 2012 12:01:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://ashleyturner.org/?p=5795#comment-10117</guid>
		<description>I love this Ashley! And thank you for all your blog posts and videos, I&#039;ve been enjoying them for a few months now and they help me on my journey. It really helps to have regular insight and encouragement come through to your inbox, so thank you for sharing.
I also wanted to say a big thank you for sharing your perspective as a workshop/guidance facilitator - many of us who go to workshops as participants can be so focused on what we can get out of it, what answers we can find etc, rather than showing up in a way that wants to give - even if that&#039;s as simple as encouraging another participant or engaging with the facilitator. It can really change the energy in the room. If, as a participant, you can support the teacher by being switched-on, sharing your story or insight, it helps the teacher feel more secure and able to give even more of themselves so everyone wins!
So the next week or two when i go to workshops or speak with guides, i&#039;m going to make sure i&#039;m contributing to the space too, not just taking.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I love this Ashley! And thank you for all your blog posts and videos, I&#8217;ve been enjoying them for a few months now and they help me on my journey. It really helps to have regular insight and encouragement come through to your inbox, so thank you for sharing.<br />
I also wanted to say a big thank you for sharing your perspective as a workshop/guidance facilitator &#8211; many of us who go to workshops as participants can be so focused on what we can get out of it, what answers we can find etc, rather than showing up in a way that wants to give &#8211; even if that&#8217;s as simple as encouraging another participant or engaging with the facilitator. It can really change the energy in the room. If, as a participant, you can support the teacher by being switched-on, sharing your story or insight, it helps the teacher feel more secure and able to give even more of themselves so everyone wins!<br />
So the next week or two when i go to workshops or speak with guides, i&#8217;m going to make sure i&#8217;m contributing to the space too, not just taking.</p>
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		<title>Comment on SHOP by Elyse</title>
		<link>http://ashleyturner.org/shop/#comment-10109</link>
		<dc:creator>Elyse</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 02 May 2012 02:49:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://localhost/ashley/#comment-10109</guid>
		<description>Love the bootcamp videos!!!  Want to purchase more to give as gifts for friends and family. Will more be available for purchase soon?:)</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Love the bootcamp videos!!!  Want to purchase more to give as gifts for friends and family. Will more be available for purchase soon?:)</p>
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