that you may not quite be ready to fully receive. They will minimize unnecessary negativity, defensiveness and miscommunication.
1. Stay Open – Often when we are in difficult or uncomfortable situations, we tense up and subtly begin to tighten or contract and therefore shut down. Keep noticing your deep, full breathing and open body posture, so that you can stay open to receive what is being said.
2. Suspend Judgment – Allow the information to simply be stated with no need to analyze it, label it good or bad or defend yourself! Suspend your judgment with no need to respond or be right! ☺
3. Pay Attention – Respect the person in front of you with your full, undivided attention. Their opinion is just as important as yours. In order to fully comprehend, watch your partner’s body language, listen to the tone of their voice, as well as the words. So much of what is said, is translated non-verbally.
4. Listen for the Ring of Truth – “Truth has a ring to it.” as my priestess Ariel likes to say. When someone is spinning their tale, or offering constructive feedback, there is usually at least a kernel of truth. Listen for the piece of their story that “lands” in your body, where you feel a little “ring” of truth. This is the important piece to identify and pull out to work with.
5. Reflect What You Heard – Perhaps the most crucial step in this process is to reflect right back to your partner what you just heard. Simply, with no embellishments or interpretations…just repeat to make sure you got their message. You can simply state, “So, just to be clear…what I just heard you say was………..Is that correct?” And, then give your partner a chance to clarify any points that you missed.
Let me know how it works and please leave a comment below!
Love + Listening,