What to do when you are just beginning something new? How do you handle anxiety around a difficult transition and trust the unknown?
Often fear of the unknown rears it’s ugly head when we embark on a new phase of life. Our ego gets very attached to the different roles that we’re playing out and when these roles change (breakup, new job, empty nest syndrome), questions of self-worth and meaningfulness often arise. “Who am I?”, “What am I doing?” “How will this ever work out?”
The mind tends towards anxiety when we move into the unknown.
Here are 3 steps to help you clear the path, stay present and enjoy the beginning stages of any new venture.
1. KNOW WHERE YOU ARE + SETTLE INTO THE BEGINNER’S MIND
Yoga recognizes the natural wisdom of chronology and progression, known as krama – or the natural evolution of all things. Everything in life goes through three primary phases – the beginning/birth (Brahma), the middle/growth/sustaining (Vishnu) and the dissolution or ending/completion phase (Shiva). Our first responsibility is to simply recognize which stage we are in and then allow ourselves to be there. That’s it! Just acknowledge that you are in the beginning and know that it will inevitably grow, change and evolve.
Embrace what is known in Buddhism as “the wisdom of the Beginner’s Mind”. Think of the first time you tried yoga or a new sport. A brand new beginner does not know what to expect. We are completely consumed with the rawness of the present moment and forced to pay attention, just to keep our head above water. This emptiness allows us to free our minds and just be.
Allow yourself to just be in the tender, empty unknown. In our yoga practice, we use child’s pose as a metaphor and reminder to empty out, regroup and reconnect to the breath, our bodies and this moment. Like a newborn child, we embrace the absolute magic and wonder unfolding in every moment of every day – unadulterated by memory and expectation. We tend to overlook the medicine of the here and now, because our mind’s are so busy trying to categorize or catalog our current experience based on a past memory. We beat ourselves up for not having all the answers. Instead, know that within the Beginner’s Mind lies the fertile soil of all new growth. Start by stopping!
2. RELAX + LET GO
Take a few deep breaths and relax into the unknown. Let your expectations go and keep unhooking from your own agendas. A scary place to be, no doubt, but also a land of infinite opportunities or as Deepak Chopra says, “the field of pure potentiality”. When we are just starting a relationship, job or new venture – especially, something we have never done before – we have nothing to compare it to. In fact, the more we try to squish it into a box, the more we limit the possibilities and reduce it by trying to categorize and catalog it based on past impressions. This minimizes the magic of what is.
When you watch a young baby, the wonder in their eyes and delight in their smile lights up a room. This is because they are untainted by past impressions and expectations and completely enamored and enchanted by the magic of every little sensation and experience unfolding before them. Pay attention and enjoy.
3. BE PATIENT. SIMPLY TAKE THE NEXT, RIGHT ACTION.
Every little step moves you forward. Every action you take is preparing you for what is to come. You don’t have to know how everything is going to look. You don’t have to know how you’ll get to your end goal. As Ram Dass says, “the best preparation for later, is to be fully present right now”. You are taken care of and it will all unfold. When you look back on your career, how could you ever expect to have your entire skill set mastered before you ever started. Impossible. We only learn by doing. The key to getting where you want to go (and figuring it out), is simply to do. Do the next right thing and like the golden brick road, the next step and the next step will unfurl before you. You don’t have to find the way. You don’t have to find your path. You’re already on your path. Simply take the next, right action.
Hi Ashely – thank you very much for brilliant post…its very insightful
Regards
Divakar
@beverly – 1st of all…I LOVE that your email is “teachingmiracles”.
I am so grateful for your words and so glad to hear that you have found these videos helpful! Yes…beginning of new school year is incredibly challenging…. Breathe IN, Breathe OUT.
Sending blessings to you and those lucky enough to be your students!
You are teaching them even more by who you are and how you are, then even ‘what’ you are teaching.
I saved this video and have referenced it several times as my new school year began. My teaching position did not change (I have 2 & 3 year old special needs preschoolers) but my school, principal, school times, responsibilities & co-workers did change. The week back to work was full of frustrating events that kept us behind as we tried to prepare for the upcoming year. In the past, I would take in all the stress and add my own worry and weigh myself down with it. Since following your yoga, I have tried to follow the practice to breathe in and let go…You have helped me take the path of peace~in my words and in my mind! thank you!!!
Hi Ashley,
I came across your name in one of the newsletters and I am hooked. Your videos always seem to be so timely and relevant to things that are happening in my life.
My daughter just started high school and we are in the process of moving to a different city so the changes in her life seem overwhelming. She is not coping well at all and many tears have been shed. I have tried to send her the same message as in your video, but maybe her hearing it from someone other than mom might be the trick. Thanks!
Sandy…let me know if your daughter watched this and what she thought! I am so glad you are enjoying these. Please let me know what other questions are relevant for you and leave them here:
http://facebook.com/AshleyTurnerYoga
Love the information…the reminder to be present where we are!
Thank you for sharing your wise words!
Namaste
Hey Ashely- I attended one of your classes in L.A. two years ago while I was visiting some friends, and really enjoyed it. I’m from Nashville but I live in Belgium. I’ve been enjoying your videos since the beginning, always sending them to friends who I know would appreciate it – and they do. Just wanted to say thanks and that we’re listening to you out here and we remember your wisdom and take it into the world with us.
I left the link to my teacher in Nashville, who is a wonderful lit-up person like yourself. Best, Kat
What’s up, Brad?!? NICE! So glad to hear that you made the leap of faith.
Jump and the net will appear. (literally)
xox
hey Ash,
enjoyed the video about the next right step. Good stuff! I definitely can relate, teaching tennis full-time (for the first time – no more corporate life).
You look great and are a natural in front of the camera.
Love ya,
bh
Right on, Ashley! I love the discussion of krama and how is applies to our vinyasa of life. Thank you for these very relevant reminders. You are so wise and inspiring! Peace, sister!