Having a healthy ego (a healthy sense of Self) is to fully acknowledge or ‘own’ both our positive attributes and our weaknesses or faults.
If we don’t have this balanced sense of ego – where we have nothing to prove and nothing to hide – it’s easy to get caught in the Shame-Blame Game. If someone is criticizing us or if an experience arises that reveals one of our weaknesses, we can easily start to spin in the tidal pool of shame – being embarrassed, critical of ourselves or ashamed of this aspect of Self.
If someone else happens to blame us or shame us, we may take it personally and jump in on the game – beginning to drop into a painful cycle of flogging ourselves and beating ourselves up. This only serves to lower our self-esteem, clog and tie up valuable psychological, creative and physical energy.
When we transparently acknowledge, admit and accept the parts of ourselves that may be embarrassing or unattractive, then shame has no power! We shed light on our Shadow and it dissolves. No longer is the Shadow split off or pushed away. It is integrated. This frees up trapped energy (prana), softens us into humility and helps focus our attention on how to make positive changes and improvements in our selves and our lives.
Notice where you are blaming or criticizing someone else (look to your family or romantic relationships for the most glaring clues) – ask yourself where that quality lives in you (more on this liberating exercise in the coming weeks).
This week, practice loving and unconditionally accepting all the weaknesses and faults that you have. Practice being humble (same root word as “human”)….allow yourself to be human and have less than desirable traits. We all do! Practice accepting and loving these vulnerable places and turn this energy into fuel to initiate positive change in your life.
Please share with us what traits, characteristics you are most ‘ashamed’ of! What do you prefer to hide or hesitate acknowledging? Out yourself!
I am late (almost always….highly embarrassing). I can be manipulative. I am competitive. I am critical (mostly of myself). I am a perfectionist. I overcommit and often cannot complete all the things I attempt to do in the time requested. I tend to put others before myself, at the detriment of my own nutrition and working out. More to come…
I am also loving. I am kind. I am passionate about helping others. I am resourceful and creative. I am intelligent and soulful. I am deep, thoughtful and highly committed to my work, my family, my partner, friends, clients and students. I am strong, very forgiving, understanding and intuitive.
P.S. It helps to do this admission stuff publicly….VERY LIBERATING!
Here’s to NO MORE SHAME! Share your shadow + your light in the comments below!