HAVE A BEGINNER’S MIND

One of the greatest factors contributing to anxiety is a sense of overwhelm: “I don’t know what I’m doing” or “I’m not ready”. The key to alleviating this anxiety is to seek help.

As a psychotherapist, one of the first things we’re trained to assess for is how strong a support system a client has. Do you have people to help guide you, support and encourage you and hold the space for your growth and development?

When we enter into what Buddhism calls – “The Beginner’s Mind”  – we humble ourselves, let go of the need to be right and give ourselves permission to not know everything. Ahhh! Sweet relief. To be a student. To sit at the feet of a guru. To not know.

The word “guru” translates to mean the “remover of darkness”. One who sheds light on a particular subject. One who lights the way and paves the path. One who illumines your True Self.

When we sit at the feet of a great teacher, one who has gone before, we are cradled in their expertise, experience and wisdom. Like a warm bath, we feel at ease.

Last week, I had the distinct pleasure and honor of assisting my mentor, supervisor and colleague, Dr. Ron Alexander at his Esalen workshop. It’s been a long time since I sat in the role of student and apprentice in this formal way. I found such simple pleasure in assisting him, anticipating his needs and adding my own unique voice to the group discussion. I remembered that I don’t have to know everything. Inspiration and wisdom pours in when we are soft, receptive, humble and open.

This week, your challenge is to dissolve your need to know everything and seek out a mentor:

1. Determine one area of your life that you need guidance and support. (career, parenting, finance, sex, weightloss)
2. Identify 2-3 people whom you admire in this field. People who have completed the tasks at hand or who model exemplary behavior and satisfactory results in your chosen field. They don’t have to be doing exactly what you are seeking to do, but in the same general space. Think: who do you admire? Who seems to have succeeded in this realm? What qualities do you notice in them?
3. Call them up, tweet or facebook them, reach out and ask for help. Ask to have a quick 15 min. phone conversation or meet them in person if at all possible. The more personal the connection, the better. Most likely, you’ll be surprised at their graciousness and generosity. Remember: it is an honor to help someone out and be considered a mentor.
4. Ask what advice they have, what they wish they knew 1, 5, 10 years before (wherever you are now). Ask what they consider the 3 most important things for you to focus on and implement now. Ask for specific resources (courses, teachers, books) that would be most helpful. Ask if you could come observe or assist them in their work, if appropriate.

Remember, we are all in this together. Building a strong teacher/mentor relationship is one of the best strategies to succeed and know that you are not alone.

In the comments below, please tell us who your greatest mentors and teachers are. Share what strategies reduce your overwhelm. When you’re feeling like you don’t know what you’re doing…what helps most?

Love,

Ashley

Here’s a list of 8 of my greatest teachers (in no particular order):

1. Ram Dass: Harvard psychologist, preeminent scholar of yoga + human consciousness. Author of the seminal text Be Here Now – a  Western articulation of Eastern philosophy, how to live joyously 100% of the time in the present – luminous or mundane.
2. Dr. Ron Alexander: Buddhist Psychologist in Santa Monica, CA. Instrumental in fusing eastern spirituality/meditation/mindfulness and western psychology. Check out his book: Wise Mind. Open Mind.
3. Seane Corn: Yogini. Activist. Speaker. Taught me how to stay authentic, courageous, bold and honest. Paved the way and helped me find my voice. Check out her dvd’s here.
4. Sharon Gannon: Co-founder or Jivamukti Yoga in NYC. Outspoken advocate of animal rights and veganism. Inspired by her fierce dedication, muse-like playfulness + insane creativity.
5. Gregory Bach: Kevin Costner’s first acting coach (mine, too!). Taoist master weaving radical simplicity and life teachings into performance + presence. Author: Acting: Simple + Direct.
6. Mona Miller: My personal therapist for years. A progressive, rebel therapist + psychic. Author of Invisible Warfare (and workbook). A must read for emotional freedom and intelligence.
7. Ariel Spilsbury: High Priestess. Founder of the 13 Moon Priestess Training (which I completed in 2006). Author of 13 Moon Oracle – Feminine Spirituality meets sacred geometry, Jungian Psychology, archetypes, Tantra, elemental forces + ancient Pagan rituals.
8. Lygia Lima: One of my best friends + greatest teachers. The most authentic yogini I know. Brazilian powerhouse who brought power yoga to Rio in the 1990’s. Teaches the best yoga/meditation in Sao Paulo and writes Yoga Nation weekly.
9. Dr. Christiane Northrup: A pioneer in women’s health. Groundbreaking advocate of the holistic medicine, a joyful teacher and inspiring speaker. Her books are bibles on my shelf. Seminal texts to understand feminine power.
10. Dr. Joan Borysenko: World renowned expert in the mind-body connection integrating meaning, ritual and spirituality in health and healing. Eloquent speaker and compelling author with a lively sense of humor. Buy her books here.

Please share your mentors + teachers below!