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How to Know What You Need
HOW TO KNOW WHAT YOU NEED
With all the social media noise and hurried pace of our lives, it can be difficult to tune out the static electricity and drop into what you really need and want in your life. Clients and students are always asking me how to figure out what they really need from a relationship, what they want in a job, how to lose weight, etc.
These 3 simple steps will help you build the muscle of intuition and get clear on what you really need (not your siblings, parents, colleagues or friends).
Your homework: as much as possible throughout the day, pause, take a moment to ask yourself these 3 questions. Good idea: Set a cell phone timer to go off every 15 minutes to check in with your body and ask:
1. HOW DO I FEEL?
Am I thirsty? Hungry? Tired? Do I need to stand up and stretch to get more energy moving? Do I need to call someone for a little deeper connection? Do I need to workout or go get some fresh air? What would bring me into an optimal state?
2. WHAT DO I NEED?
Before any encounter…ask yourself what you really need. Do you need to do yoga? Do you need to feel heard? Do you need to do something kind and gentle for yourself? What do you need from this conversation? What do you most need to get done right now? Do you need some recreation and fun? How much money do you need to ask for from this job?
3. WHAT DO I WANT?
What does that ‘inner child’ want? Do you want someone to love you? Do you want some nurturing? What do you want your work-life balance to look like?
It’s good to have models for what we want, but inevitably, our wants and needs are different from everyone else’s. Keep checking in with yourself to build your muscle of autonomy and give yourself permission to have your own, unique needs. You don’t need to justify your needs. All of your needs and wants will not always be fulfilled, but the important thing is that you ask for what you need and know that you deserve to have your needs met.
We begin teaching others how to treat us and what to give us, by first honoring those needs ourselves and learning to meet our needs first.
Your inner voice is waiting to be heard.
***For more on tuning into your truth, join my LIVE YOUR TRUTH. LOVE YOUR LIFE. 6 wk. telecourse with Terri Cole. (You can still sign up…we’ll send you recordings of the first 2 calls.)