This question comes courtesy of Jacqueline from North Carolina:
What to do when you are waiting for a relationship?
Are you single and waiting for your man or woman to show up? What do you do while you are waiting for your partnership, boyfriend or girlfriend?
Here are 4 steps to lead you out of THE WAITING GAME!
1. STOP WAITING!
Life is NOT a waiting game. Stop waiting for Prince Charming to waltz into your world and your dream life to begin. It is here now. Yes, this is it.
Have you heard the expression “We are the ones we have been waiting for”? This applies to our romantic relationships. You are the only one who can draw yourself out of loneliness. There is a difference between loneliness and aloneness. Stop waiting for someone else to come along and solve your problems, make you feel ok, make you feel better or bring a sense of adventure and romance to your life. You are the one you’ve been waiting for. Become intimate, romantic, playful, understanding and nurturing with yourself. Focus on loving yourself first and the rest will follow.
2. START LIVING YOUR DREAM LIFE NOW
Often, we mistakenly think that we’ll finally begin all these fun, exciting adventures once we get into a relationship. As a singleton for several years, I was guilty of thinking that once I met my man, we would start doing all these things I kept putting off: I would learn to surf, we’d go camping, take fun vacations and explore new adventures.
Start doing all these things now: take trapeze classes, go to yoga, go on mini-vacations (or big ones), take salsa lessons, learn to meditate, make dinner for yourself…whatever you dream your man/woman would be into. You’ll not only feel better about yourself, stay energized, inspired and excited by life (and radiate love)… but the irony is you’ll inevitably meet people that are also into all of your favorite activities. You may very well meet your ideal partner on one of your new excursions.
3. WITHDRAW YOUR PROJECTIONS
It’s very easy to look from the outside in and project an idyllic view onto all the charming couples in a relationship or married. The bottom line is that there are a whole other set of circumstances that arises when you are in a relationship. As my teacher Ram Dass says, “I’m not busy not being married” [and feeling bad about it] because he recognized that a whole new set of karmas and challenges that you can’t even imagine arrives once you get into a relationship. Like water off a duck’s back, dissolve your assumptions – the grass is not always (and rarely) greener. Your magnet strengthens when you celebrate where you are.
4. SURRENDER + TRUST
Give up your anticipation and desire to be in a relationship. In yoga, this is called isvara pranidhana – giving up the outcome of our efforts and instead focusing on the action and moment at hand, knowing that the outcome is always beyond our control and trusting that by taking the next right step, we are aligning with our highest good.
We are all here learning our own lessons and working out our own karmas – much of which we don’t know or understand (especially in the moment). Everyone’s timing is completely different. Surrender your desire to Spirit, the Divine or whatever inner power you connect to.
Whatever practice puts you in a peaceful, trusting place and connects you to something higher than yourself – do it! Go out into nature, meditate, sit quietly, pray and give up your version and your need to control or have things look a certain way. Surrender. Sometimes the very act of letting go is what loosens the reins enough for our wish to come true.
Become the person that you are calling into your life. Be exactly like the partner you are manifesting.
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