Get Ashley's FREE Core Detox Class,
PLUS weekly videos + meditations
Quick Stress-Relief Meditation | RAIN Technique
Most of us are the furthest thing from our own best friends. The greatest battles we face in life are often the battles in our own heads. So…how do we escape this “trance of unworthiness” as Tara Brach calls it?
A low-grade (or sometimes explicit) sense of “not-good-enough”, toxic self-criticism and shame are almost universal. Do you beat yourself up? Are you hard on yourself? Are you holding back in insecurity?
Life inevitably throws us curve balls. To build resilience and gracefully manage any difficult situation, we need to train our mind with reliable psychological tools and replace heavy-handed criticism with tenderness, kindness and appreciation.
Perhaps the cornerstone of emotional intelligence is cultivating the “Witness Mind” (mindfulness) and a self-inquiry practice to observe and become curious about our mental patterns and beliefs so we can liberate ourselves from them.
Another key is to offer ourselves self-compassion in the face of challenge.
When we extend tenderness and non-judgment towards ourselves (and others), we learn to appreciate our efforts and resist the “trance of unworthiness”.
This RAIN Meditation elegantly combines both.
RAIN Meditation Technique
Here’s a simple, rock-solid guided meditation to help manage your emotions, reframe the narrative and relieve stress. It’s called the RAIN Meditation Technique popularized by Tara Brach.
I’m currently completing a 2 yr. Meditation and Mindfulness Training Certification with my beloved teachers Tara and Jack Kornfield.
Last week, I led this RAIN Meditation and it was so powerful that I wanted to share it with you.
RAIN is an acronym that stands for:
R – RECOGNIZE
A – ACCEPT. ALLOW.
I – INQUIRE with INTEREST
N – NURTURE + NON-IDENTIFICATION
Here’s how it works:
R – Recognize
Observe and simply note any thoughts, feelings, sensations that arise. You may wish to think of this as data collection. Simply “noting” what is – without a need to interpret or judge – builds neutrality. Acknowledge what is. Recognize all that arises.
You may wish to add a mental or verbal note that helps to register your data entry.
Simply stating in a mental whisper one or two words to describe your observations. For example:
- Self-criticism
- Tension in the chest
- Worrying about the future
A – Allow. Acknowledge. Accept.
Allowing means that we let thoughts, feelings, sensations be as they are. We let go of any need to fix, change, adapt or avoid anything. No need to push or resist. Allowing things to be as they are does not mean we agree with them. Instead, we honestly acknowledge their existence.
For example, if you notice your “Inner Critic” or “Judger” starting to erupt, allow and acknowledge this without buying into the self-critical thoughts. Just observe the harsh inner critic at play.
Again, you may wish to offer a simple affirmation or word in acknowledgment. You can mentally whisper: “yes”, or “It’s ok.” I like to state “Let” on the inhale and “Be” on the exhale.
I – Investigate with Interest
A key component of mindfulness is self-inquiry. Once we recognize and allow things to be as they are we continue to the next step which is to inquire. Becoming curious about how our thoughts or actions affect us leads to insight.
We start with the fresh curiosity of the “Beginner’s Mind”. Direct your attention with more focus and one-pointedness to become more present to this nuanced layers of your experience.
You may ask:
- What am I feeling in my body?
- What are my beliefs?
- What do I most need?
- What do I most want?
Aim to focus on the felt-sense of your inquiry/meditation in your body.
N – Nurture. Non-Identification.
Once you recognize your suffering, practice extending compassion and self-nurturance. As you identify unwholesome patterns, extend a kind word, thought or gesture to yourself.
Think of this as replacement therapy. Interrupt an unhealthy pattern with loving-kindness and compassion. Notice the analytical or critical mind and replace it with a softened perception.
You may say something to yourself like:
- I love you.
- I understand.
- It’s ok.
- It’s not your fault.
- I’m here with you.
- I’m sorry.
- You’re doing great.
I also suggest embodying this positive sentiment with a physical gesture. You may want to place a hand on your heart or on your belly. Visualize golden or rose-gold light flowing through you or emanating from you. Try gently meeting your own gaze in a mirror and offering the kind statement to yourself.
N also stands for Non-Identification. We loosen our identification with an event, feeling or thought and widen our lens to perceive ourselves as the infinite, wise being that we are. We nurture ourselves when we cultivate this enlarged view of Self.
You are who you ARE. Not what you do, think or feel.
After the RAIN
Take a few minutes to rest with yourself and settle into this newfound peace. Appreciate your efforts for taking a few minutes of self-care and tenderness to strengthen your relationship to yourself.
Please LEAVE A COMMENT:
- What is the #1 thing you need to be most compassionate about with yourself?
10 Comments
Leave a Reply
Join VIP Facebook Group
Hi Ashley, long time no see it’s true. I have been in the process of moving for the past few months. So today in my new space I am listening to this video. Very calming after a very exhausting move. Thank you! Wishing you well. Andrée
Ashley, again thank you for talking about a Meditation Practice that I found, &, 1st. Experienced Listening to Tara Brach, and have continued to Practice, Especially when I find myself “Stuck in a Trance of unworthiness” …………. Peace
Love this. Thank you!!!
This was grreat It will be a great resource in my work with clients-almost DBTish-radical acceptance, Ridethe Wave skills. But easier. I let go of some deep emotions with meditation. Graciously Dana
Thank you, Ashley! I found you through a friend of yours whose condo I was hoping to rent in Aspen–we ended up talking about yoga, and of course she mentioned you. the rental didn’t work out, but I’m grateful for the other share, of info on your work. Thanks for making so much of it available to all:)
Love this!! I love your yoga videos and guided meditations on Gaia! You and (Rodney Yee, again) have helped me find myself and my center during a stressful time! I’m so interested in the Chakra System and the balancing of each Chakras, the corresponding colors and tapping into the internal balanced power. I have found that Yoga and meditation are the answers to my true authenticity, confidence and power.
I forgot to write THANK YOU ASHLEY! in my earlier comment!
Appreciated this particular technique this AM. It gave me the necessary focus to identify and reframe a current life challenge.
Love,Light and Gratitude for your timing and sharing!
This is a beautiful tool! I feel that this meditation if done frequently, could improve your mental health and increase compassion and love for yourself and others..
Thank you,
Thank you
Thank you!!! Carrie
I have been doing yoga classes with you through yoga on line and love your classes.
Tonight i found your medistation very stress relieving.
I have been really stressed with my work and carry a lot of stress in my shoulders and feel pain in both my shoulders,suffered frozen shoulder for a long time in my left shoulder and now i am staring to feel in my right too.
I need some time to definitely nurture myself more.
Thank you
Namaste