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The Hero’s Journey (Part 3 of 4)
There is No Right Answer
If you missed the first two installments of this series on THE HERO’S JOURNEY, please go back to these vlogs for an introduction.
The Hero’s Journey – Part 1
The Hero’s Journey – Part 2
The Hero’s Journey: Part 4
Once you’ve answered your soul’s calling, realized that the help you need will spontaneously show up in your life and are well on your way to reclaiming your power, following your “truth”, and slaying your demons – you will begin to encounter what Carl Jung calls the “tension of the opposites“.
Universal Truth: Everything in this physical world is made up of a pair of opposites.
Not exactly rocket science. But, pretty profound when you break it down. Everything in life comes from the union of feminine and masculine or positive and negative forces (think: electricity, the firing of neurons in your brain). But when you apply this to the incessant thoughts and churning emotions – crazy things happen.
TENSION OF THE OPPOSITES
In yoga, we call it “union of the opposites” or Ha-Tha (sun-moon). Every yoga practice (meditations, kriyas, mantra, mudra, asana) is designed to bring your organism (mind and body) as close as possible to harmony – where both complimentary halves are balanced. Taoism refers to the “tao” – the natural ebbing and flowing of all life. Mythology and alchemy call it hierosgamos – the sacred marriage of feminine and masculine. Depth psychology defines it as the “tension of the opposites“.
When we cross the threshold of initiation and take the leap of faith into the unknown, we are immediately confronted with this battle of light and dark, good and bad, pros and cons.
The irony is that every single interaction, relationship, circumstance, decision is fraught with this pull. Should I? Shouldn’t I? Should I stay in this relationship/job/city or not? Rarely, if ever, is a decision 100% unequivocally absolute. There are natural hesitations and considerations on both sides. This is the “Tao”.
STRESS RELIEF: WHEN ANXIETY IS GOOD
Most of our anxiety and tension comes from the mind’s inability to accept things as they are – incomplete and conflicting. The mental body is addicted to analyzing, comparing, assessing, planning and weighing options when no clear path is in sight. When we can’t figure things out, are worried that it might turn out this way, instead of that…we become constricted, shut down and anxious.
This is not pathology. This is the path. This is a necessary part of the whole game. Instability. Tension. This is the way it is supposed to be! Anxiety is good. It will produce fruits. The aim is learning to work with anxiety.
When we grow our minds big and strong enough to hold two opposing thoughts at the same time we liberate ourselves!
“Yes…I love him, and I’m also continually disappointed that he doesn’t …..(fill in the blank).”
Both are true at the same time. Always.
The work is to strengthen our ability to sustain this tension. Hold both sides as absolutely true and instead of viewing it as an apparent contradiction, can we see it as complimentary?
Can you grow your heart big enough to hold two opposing emotions simultaneously?
THE ANSWER WILL ARRIVE (aka The Transcendent Function)
Once you do…staying patient, compassionate (because this is no cake walk) and understanding with yourself and others…a crazy thing happens. Eventually, or as Krishna Das says “gradually, but inevitably” – a third option reveals itself.
This is known as the transcendent function. When you teeter-totter back and forth for long enough, eventually something else is born. Remember it’s only when the sperm and egg come together that something new is birthed! An answer appears. You become clear as to the next right step. Eventually, this tension, anxiety, impatience gives way to an “Ah-Ha” moment.
So, this week…stay the course. Be courageous in sitting at the crossroads. Do nothing. Don’t worry. Be. Breathe deep. Trust. Be kind to yourself. You may be asked to ride this wave of pros and cons for months, years even.
This is the way. Trust that something else is at work. Working on you. It will appear. You will know where to go.
Or you won’t.
Either way…the journey is the destination. There is no such thing as perfect symmetry in the natural world.
Enjoy the ride.
Please “like” or “share” this if you are inspired. Please leave a comment and give us an example of where or how you are sitting in the middle of two opposing thoughts or feelings. Your story helps others.
Love,
Ashley
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Huge:
“Most of our anxiety and tension comes from the mind’s inability to accept things as they are…When we grow our minds big and strong enough to hold two opposing thoughts at the same time we liberate ourselves!”
And literally laughed out loud that this metaphor followed:
“Remember it’s only when the sperm and egg come together that something new is birthed! An answer appears. You become clear as to the next right step.”
Here, here!
because that is what I have been waiting for the last few years, keep thinking is about to happen, hence the loss of focus on career and passion for work. All I really want now is to get married and have babies! And maybe all this career-wavering time, after previously being so ambitious, where I have “wasted time” on simple pleasures in life like cooking and self-help and getting deep into yoga as I try, or wait for something, to sort out my aimless career motivation is actually what I need to make myself a better future wife and mother. So maybe this is my path. Time will tell…
So here we go – Tension of the Opposites is where I live.
Career-wise I have been sitting here for several years through various jobs in the same industry, and don’t feel I am getting clear enough answers on whether to stay or go. Attractive jobs come along just when I’m done, but then those don’t move forward or are not what I hoped, and I am back to deciding what to do next, thinking of switching paths, until the next opportunity comes along that I think is going to save me.
I struggle to take more control of this process so I can really find a path that I am passionate about again, rather than going with what keeps landing in my lap, which I definitely had when I was younger.
Will sit with all this.
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Thank you all for sharing your personal experiences. It is so helpful to hear your specific examples. I so appreciate your feedback. Stay courageous, patient + strong.
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This couldn’t have come at a better time. Sometimes all the weighing both sides and analyzing is so exhausting. It’s nice to be reassured that the third option will reveal itself. Thanks!
Thank you! I have the dilemma of letting this Christmas holiday contract me and take me into the similar depression I feel every Xmas season or I can ride the wave and ask to be led to be happy, still not sure how this will actually occur-staying open though
Caught in between going and starting medical school this year – I even already put down the deposit – and letting go of that to do physical therapy/ yoga/ and other things? I always imagined my life very full and busy. but I noticed that when I have free time nice surprises appear. like presents. if i have no free time, and no time to take care of myself (which may be the medical school scenario) then I’m missing out on these unknown possibilities and surprises…i’m not even leaving room for the possibility that things might be even more amazing than i ever imagined….
I took off 10 years before applying to med school to follow my dreams. I feel I have done it all so I am now more comfortable with committing to med school. This is truly what I want and I know it and I am ready to work for it.
What gives you the most peace? Maybe its the transition that causes hestitation. For me, I just wasnt clear on what/who I wanted to be.
For now, I see for myself, that in order for me to truly be of service as a healer requires a combination of both eastern and western modalities and I want to travel and present and volunteer all the while serving in this way.
consider seeing the opportunities for spontanaity that will arise as a md and the incredible gifts you will receive from your kind service.